"Shut the Hell Up...."
Keith "The Silver Fox" Olbermann, AGAIN, lays the smack down on George W. Bush.
May 16, 2008
Keith "The Silver Fox" Olbermann, AGAIN, lays the smack down on George W. Bush.
May 15, 2008
Well... this has been a pretty messed up spring.... Arkansas and it's neighbors have had what seems like DAILY severe weather.
Actually, it's only been like every 3rd day or so.... but you get the general idea.
But, LOOK AT THIS:
After a pretty rainy today, it looks like a mostly sunny, late spring week!
FINALLY!!!!!!
*tony does the happy dance of happy happiness*
FINALLY!!!!!!
*tony does the happy dance of happy happiness*
May 11, 2008
EGO BOOST
This is a song about a superhero named Tony
It's called Tony's Theme
He's got the oil on his chain, for a ride in the rain
No baloney
Ride around on my bicycle like a pony
I'm waving hi, hi, hi, hi, hi
Gu-gu-gu-Gimme a scream
Give me, give me the theme
Of Tony
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
I am Tony, super bicycle Tony, I'm racing
Spitfire turn and pop a wheelie, burn and evil chasing
I'm waving bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
I got a card in my spokes
I'm practicing my joke, I'm learning
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
This is a song about a superhero named Tony
It's called Tony's Theme
I can look at the sun if you give me some bad sun glasses
I'm back on the road, I cut my grass like I'm told
AFTER CLASSES!
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
To-ny
This is a song about a superhero named Tony
It's called Tony's Theme
He's got the oil on his chain, for a ride in the rain
No baloney
Ride around on my bicycle like a pony
I'm waving hi, hi, hi, hi, hi
Gu-gu-gu-Gimme a scream
Give me, give me the theme
Of Tony
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
I am Tony, super bicycle Tony, I'm racing
Spitfire turn and pop a wheelie, burn and evil chasing
I'm waving bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
I got a card in my spokes
I'm practicing my joke, I'm learning
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
This is a song about a superhero named Tony
It's called Tony's Theme
I can look at the sun if you give me some bad sun glasses
I'm back on the road, I cut my grass like I'm told
AFTER CLASSES!
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
To-ny
May 7, 2008
Dear Amy Winehouse,
You're so talented... your voice is amazing. But... Pax is right. You are a train-wreck. If you could actually stop getting arrested for drugs, that'd be great. Seriously.
Until then, and please don't take it personal, I am gonna concentrate on Duffy.
Still a Winehouse fan, but... well.... you know how it goes.
Many thanks.
May 5, 2008
So I am at work on Sunday morning. I go into the breakfast bar to stock and make sure things look good... a family is sitting there, enjoying their breakfast. A man, his wife and their 2 loverly children.... a boy and girl.
They are watching The Wiggles.
I look at the dad and say, "If they weren't so nice, they'd be kinda creepy."
The little girl begins to sob loudly and uncontrollably. The dad looks at his daughter and asks what is wrong... why is she crying?
The girl points at me accusingly and says, "He hates the Wiggles. He says they are creepy!"
BOTH parents look at me like I killed the family pet.
I exit, stage right... left, even.
Geeze. I made a 5-year old cry.
"Hell-bound asshole.... party of one. Your tables ready."
April 29, 2008
Hell to the Chief...
Okay. If I ever run for president, governor, secretary of state or CEO of the Zak Spears Dildo of the Month Club, do me a favor...
DON'T SPEAK IN PUBLIC!!!
This goes for anyone I have ever saw on the street, had sex (casual or otherwise) with, talked to at the Kroger, bought coffee from, blogged with, traded e-mails with or sat on the subway with.
Seriously.... DON'T SPEAK TO CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS and don't ever, EVER speak to fox news.
If you ever feel tempted to speak.... call me! We'll work something out where you can go spend a relaxing holiday in the deepest part of the frozen tundra where even the news people won't go.
... and I thank you for your support.
April 22, 2008
Hail the Size of Minivans....
Well.... not really, but we had MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR hail today. The rocks were about ping-pong ball sized. Fucking INSANE!!!!!!!
Check these out:
WOW!!!!!!! In April of this year alone, I have seen more severe weather and more hail and much more larger hail than I have ever seen in my life!
April 17, 2008
April 8, 2008
Yea, tho I walk through the valley of Praise-a-thons and pink hair dye, I will fear no damnation.
I have found the truth. I have found the answers.
Come worship with me at:
THE CHURCH OF PAXOLOGY.
Bring your tired... accompany your unwell... bring your mom, your dad, your wallets.
Can I get an "Amen, brother Tony?"
April 4, 2008
In case you didn't know, Mother Nature had a tantrum last night. (click HERE for info)
Around 11pm last night and well into the night, a series of really strong storms rolled through the state and cut a swath directly through Central Arkansas.
As I sat home watching news and weather reports, the storm (which has since been classified as an F-2 tornado) went as close to my house as I care to see ANY tornado go.
Luckily (and thankfully), the storm didn't do any damage to my house or the hotel. So I figured we got out of it... and we did. I figured the storm passed about 2 miles to the northwest of here.
WRONG!
This morning, as I went to run an errand, I looked up at the billboard that is at the corner one would turn to go to my house. This is about MAYBE a city block from my house.
As relieved as I am that my house, and other houses in my neighborhood didn't get demolished, it's a little scary that it actually DID come this close to us... if it did this to the billboard, I can only imagine what it would have done to us.
I SO needed a valium or 10 by the time the storms had gone.
April 2, 2008
LOST AND FOUND
Guess who's back...
Back again...
Lost is back...
Tell a friend.
Better yet, go to Lost's Blog and tell her that if she leaves, vanishes or stops blogging again, we gonna trek to Canada and PHYSICALLY MAKE HER BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome back blog!
March 30, 2008
WORST.... LIP SYNC... EVER!!!!
You know... I am pretty sure Suzi clawed his eyes out after this "performance."
Seriously.
WTF???
Seriously.
WTF???
March 27, 2008
March 26, 2008
Short Post
Maidink is a MILF.
Well.... okay... maybe not not a MILF for me.... but if were down for the hetro-lovin', I'd SO hit it.
Looks like I'm stuck with Geo. Poor me. (wringing hands in devilish delight)
So she's still MILF.
..... discuss.
March 23, 2008
Lookie Here, Paw.... an Update
My attempts at being a better blogger have seemingly failed... not because I suck, but because my life is so status-quo right now, that I really don't have a lot to say. I think of things to blog about, but they either get lost in the jumble that is my mind, or just pushed to the back burner.
** shrug **
I watched Beowulf, this week. Loved it. I thought it was rather well done and kept my interested. The animation was supurb and the acting was great.
Also watched the Simpson's Movie. Meh. I guess because I like Family Guy and South Park I tend to not really fully enjoy the Simpsons. The movie wasn't awful by any means, but... it just felt like a super long episode of the televison show. I got a good laugh at Martin saying, "I like men, now," when Bart roller-skated past him naked.
I think I will watch Enchanted when I get home this morning. I hear it's really cute.
What else?
Maidy and Geo's baby made it thru surgery really well. I am so glad. Always good to hear such happy news.
I got a haircut, too.
I was gonna go to church/service/mass tomorrow, but... I decided not to. Not that I can't... just that I won't. Easter services are always so drawn out and I work graveyard, so I figure it would seem less disrespectful if I opted to go home, instead.
I listened to Madonna's new song... uh... I don't like it. I am pretty much fed up with Timbaland being in EVERY FUCKING SONG on the radio. I love the song Apologize by Onerepublic, but I prefer the NON-Timbaland version.
Pariah Scarey also has a new song. It's called Touch My Body or some such.... Sucktacular... and the video is just as stupid. With Glitter in the rearview, Mariah has decided to slut it up again.
Right now I am kinda digging on Paramore. Crushcrushcrush is the jam.
So there you go. Updated blog entry. Woo-hoo!
I promise to take a more active role in this eventually. At the very least I will blog once a week, until I can get back to daily updates.
HAPPY EASTER!!!
March 17, 2008
"I Get So Emotional"
So, I am sitting at work last night and that ASPCA commercial with that "In the Arms of an Angel" song with all the pics of puppies and kitties in the pounds and being taken away from abusive owners comes on.
check it out HERE.... i can't post the video, cuz... again... i will just break down and cry for the rest of the day.
I LITERALLY just sat there and bawled like a f'ing baby for about 30 full minutes.
Then I get to thinking about when I saw that cat that had been hit by a car, the one I took into the woods and did my best to let him die in peace.... yeah... that was another 30 minute bawl fest.
Jeeze.
I'm such a fucking woman.
March 16, 2008
March 11, 2008
BREAKING NEWS!
EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
I feel it my duty and responsibility to inform you all about something....
THOMAS JANE IS STILL ONE HOT MO'FO!
thank you... that is all.
March 4, 2008
BUH-BYE.
Wow. It really IS a red letter day.
It snowed, finally... it didn't stay long, but it snowed.
AND Mike Huckabee finally saw the sign (thank you Ace of Base) and dropped more than just the weight... he also dropped out of the race for President.
Can I get a WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 3, 2008
My New Pet Peeve
You know what? I understand the need for advertisements. I get it... really I do. I hate pop-up ads... really really hate them, but in the long run, I understand.
I love my pop-up blocker.
What really pisses me off, though, is the new kind of pop-up. You know... the kind that lets a page you are viewing load, then suddenly.... a totally new entire page replaces it and won't let you move on until it loads. Then... and ONLY then, do you see the "Skip This Ad" button. I think they are called "Interstitial ads."
It's fucking annoying... It's fucking rude.... and I fucking HATE it.
It's not just the basic page I am viewing interuption, it's just that the page that pops up usually has NOTHING to do with the page I am viewing.
When looking at a comic news web page, I don't WANT to see pictures of "hot sexy coeds" that I can "chat with" on hxxp://sluttyfuckingwhorebagskanks.net
Hells bells, I don't even want that when I am NOT looking at a comics news webpage.
I'm seriously sick and tired of it.
Do I sound Cranky?
February 29, 2008
GOOD FOR ELLEN....
Ellen Degeneres, as usual, continues to impress me and make me smile... and cry at the same time.
Bless her.
Click HERE for more info.
February 27, 2008
February 25, 2008
I didn't watch the Oscars.
I wanted Ellen Page to win, though to be honest, I haven't seen Juno OR any of the nominees.
I like Tilda Swenson, though. She seems so cool.
Did anyone see the video of Gary Busey on the carpet with Ryan Seacrest and Jennifer Garner?
CREEPY.
February 18, 2008
Since Maidy has decided to forgoe her Sunday rant, I will rant in her stead.
WHAT is the deal with porn? Not porn in itself, mind you... lord knows I love me some nekkid mens.
Specifically, what is with the sudden influx of fisting?
I am pretty open minded. I deal with others' things really well... as a rule. I can tolerate BDSM, I guess I can understand the whole leather thing... it's not MY bag, but whatever. Get your kicks, right?
I understand the whole Uniform Fetish.... BOY-HOWDY, DO I UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE UNIFORM FETISH. (mmmm... cop-a-licious)
But, seriously, what is the deal with fisting? Why would you want someone's entire arm up your ass or vajayjay? It looks like a sick imitation of a very demented Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy ventriloquism act.
I dated a guy once (and only once) who, during an intimate moment, asked me if I was willing to try it.
"Hell, no, motherfucker. There ain't enough Crisco, Wesson and Poppers in the world to make me wanna ride your elbow."
He then asked if he could pee on me. Again, I told him no, thanked him and left.
Geeze. Come on!
Anyway, I got on this because I was "reviewing" a movie (artistic purposes, of course) the other day and, without notice or really any kind of foreplay, these dudes just begin the fisting. SUCH a turn-off. How you gonna just let someone's entire forearm up there?
I mean, I know *HOW*... but.... *shudder*.
The funny thing is... throughout the entire scene, there was no kissing, not even a blow-job... it was just "Here. Sit on my hand."
"Coffee?"
"Oh, no. Never touch the stuff."
"Tea, maybe?"
"No, thanks."
"Elbow?"
"Yes, please."
WTF???
WHAT is the deal with porn? Not porn in itself, mind you... lord knows I love me some nekkid mens.
Specifically, what is with the sudden influx of fisting?
I am pretty open minded. I deal with others' things really well... as a rule. I can tolerate BDSM, I guess I can understand the whole leather thing... it's not MY bag, but whatever. Get your kicks, right?
I understand the whole Uniform Fetish.... BOY-HOWDY, DO I UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE UNIFORM FETISH. (mmmm... cop-a-licious)
But, seriously, what is the deal with fisting? Why would you want someone's entire arm up your ass or vajayjay? It looks like a sick imitation of a very demented Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy ventriloquism act.
I dated a guy once (and only once) who, during an intimate moment, asked me if I was willing to try it.
"Hell, no, motherfucker. There ain't enough Crisco, Wesson and Poppers in the world to make me wanna ride your elbow."
He then asked if he could pee on me. Again, I told him no, thanked him and left.
Geeze. Come on!
Anyway, I got on this because I was "reviewing" a movie (artistic purposes, of course) the other day and, without notice or really any kind of foreplay, these dudes just begin the fisting. SUCH a turn-off. How you gonna just let someone's entire forearm up there?
I mean, I know *HOW*... but.... *shudder*.
The funny thing is... throughout the entire scene, there was no kissing, not even a blow-job... it was just "Here. Sit on my hand."
"Coffee?"
"Oh, no. Never touch the stuff."
"Tea, maybe?"
"No, thanks."
"Elbow?"
"Yes, please."
WTF???
February 14, 2008
That Year.....
When I was about 10, our class had a Valentine's Day Party. The night before, many kids stayed up a good portion of the night making Valentines for others.
I didn't. I made it a point to only give cards to people I liked and who were never rude or mean to me.
That year, I made cards for everyone except one girl. Her name was Alaina. She was hateful, rude and annoying. On a daily basis, she would come up to me numerous times and get close to my face and hiss. Not just hiss, she would HISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always thought it stupid.
So the day of the Valentines Day party, I didn't give her a card.
I got in trouble. I was actually called into the office and asked why I didnt give her a card. I was honest... "I don't like her."
My mother said it was fine for me not to give her a card if I didn't want to. Therefore, I didn't need to explain myself any further.
They actually MADE me make a heart shaped card for her. I refused to give it to her, so my teacher gave it to her in my stead.
When Alaina came up to me, she said, "I don't know why you gave me a card. I didnt give you one." I told her I did NOT give her a card. The teacher gave her a card and lied when she said it was from me.
Alaina got close to my face and hissed..... again.
So I did what any 10 year old kid would do.
I hocked up a loogie and spit in her mouth. Full-on.
I got suspended for a week for the incident. My mother didn't yell at me... she thought it was funny.
Alaina's mom probably didn't find it so amusing. I know Alaina didn't. She cried...
Which makes me wonder one thing: Why the FUCK didn't Alaina get in trouble for not making a card for me??????
Years later, Alaina and I ended up in the same school again. It was probably 6 years later. We didn't talk about the incident, but we also didn't talk. She was still a bitch and I STILL didn't like her.
February 12, 2008
Across the Universe
Trippy, epic, amazing, confusing....
fucking BRILLIANT.
DAMN, I loved LOVED this movie.
Does anybody really read this anymore?
I keep trying to think of interesting things to say, but I am at a loss.....
Amy Winehouse... Our Lady of Perpetual Intoxicants... swept the Grammys. I'm happy. I do love her music. She is such a mess, tho.
Uh... what else? I downloaded porn this week. None of it very good. I am either jaded or too critical.
Meh.
February 10, 2008
February 7, 2008
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT.....
No. It really WAS a dark and stormy night. "Super Tuesday" was insane. See that pic above this? That is what I woke up to yesterday....
As you may or may not know, Arkansas and bordering southern states were slammed by severe, SEVERE weather. It wasn't really a shock. Well... the storms in themselves weren't shocking. We knew that the conditions were right for a day of boomers. The weathermen all over were exceptional at telling us that if the storms were gonna happen, they would be very strong and more than likely very violent.
How true it was.
Towns in AR such as Atkins (which is about 50 miles northwest of where I am standing, right now), Gassville and Clinton took the brunt of the weather. Probably F-4 tornadoes tore through them and tore a swath of destruction, as well.
As of the writing of this blog entry, we are at 13 dead... 3 of them were a family of a mother, a father and their 11 year old daughter.
February 4, 2008
Feeling better. Now I am paying for it, with back-to-back-to-back 12 hour shifts. I basically missed a full week of work last week, but I guess I needed it.
I am just ready for the coughing, hacking, wheezing to be over. That would be nice. Hall's Cough Drops are my bestest friends.
Mmmm.... mentho-licous.
Spent a huge portion of my sickness watching Addams Family on dvd. Seasons one and two.
How is everyone out there?
January 29, 2008
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